Hey Mister... Let's Ride To The Edge This Time...

I can't believe that so much has happened that I haven't been able to keep up with almost any form of journaling. Not only have I seemed to give up on the one thing that helps any aspect of my life get sorted out, I have given up on becoming a writer. I guess I shouldn't really go that far as to say, "given up," but I will say that I have taken no steps toward that ambition...If anything, I have taken steps back by not writing almost at all since October of last year. I feel like I should be summing up the events that have occurred since I have last blogged, so here goes.



October 23rd, 2008 - After a long battle against Cancer, my grandmother, Nannie, lost. It had only been a week since she was admitted to the Palliative Care unit. Of course, most of the family began to blame the hospital for her death. She was slipping before being admitted, seemingly was getting better, and then headed downhill for a terrible crash. I don't believe it was the hospitals fault. She passed shortly after all of us left her side to get some rest. It was as if she knew that it was her time and didn't want her family there to witness it. She is at peace. Anyone that knows me, knows what my beliefs are on religion, but I do believe my Nannie watches over me.

I guess after that happened I was pretty much in shock. I miss her a lot. It has been hard getting through it all, but I think mom and I are getting along way better now, I think she finally realizes that we aren't here forever and you need to make the best of the time you have with your loved ones. I met, Alichia. Who is now my roommate. I moved out in February of this year. I don't get as much down time to write anymore, which is why I haven't. I guess I need to start making more time for that. I need it.

I have been single. Haha... I don't meet many people.
Anyway. I did meet someone. He lives right beside us.. I like him a lot, but I'm not sure if and where things are even going to go. I guess I have to stay realistic though, and not get my hopes up or else I'll get hurt like I usually do. I can't help liking him, though. It's crazy. I spend almost everynight there. I've been thinking about moving away a lot lately, like, far away, like Toronto, but everytime I think about it the only thing I keep telling myself I need to stay here for is him and I'm not even with him. I can't base any decisions on that yet, though, I need to see how the summer goes, and talk to my mom first.

It is late, though, I will try to keep updated as much as I can.

1 and 1 make 2, 2 and 1 make 3.

My vacation was wonderful.
I left about a month after my last post, and got back almost 2 weeks ago now. I am really slack when it comes to keeping things updated. Since the last post, my kitty passed away. He was my favourite thing in the world. I always loved when he purred and rubbed his face against mine. He was, esentially, my bestfriend. He'd always be there to listen, even though he couldn't respond. Death, however, is a part of life and I had to accept it was his time to go. It's still sad when I think about it, but he had a long and good life with us. We miss him.

I went to Toronto, on the 19th of September. I was supposed to come home on the 29th, but my plane was cancelled due to some huge hurricane that Saint John was supposed to get hit by, but never actually got any of haha. I'm definitely not complaining though, because that just meant three more days without work or the crap that Saint John houses. While I was there a couple of my favourite outings included, going to the mall (their mall is massive compared to ours), going to see Cryptopsy and Norther ( my new favourite band), going to the zoo, Wonderland, walking around downtown and getting to ride all the different types of transportation. Not to mention, it was my first time being on a plane, too!

Anyway, for now I believe I might go watch some of my favourite show - Dexter. My god, it's amazing haha.

I was meant for chasing dreams.

I think it's time for a vacation. I don't mean one of those 3 day weekend things, I mean... Toronto for a week or two. Yeah. I think that will work out nicely. I was talking with my Godmother and she says that plane tickets aren't that expensive either so I could afford it if I saved up for a couple of weeks.

Anyway, I had a good day off, didn't do anything, but it was nice to be able to sit around and not do anything. I'd be at work right now if it were a normal day. I'm back in on Thursday night right until Sunday night a again. Great. Good tips though and on that shift, that's what is important.

Josh is coming down soon, I do believe. Should be fun. Other than that I guess there really isn't anything else going on.

Music : Prodigy - Firestarter.

Seasons Change, But People Don't

Well it has been well over a month, and I suppose a lot hasn't really happened, but at the same time - I guess a lot has.

Reason why it has been so long since my last post is because I was basically shunned from the world and blocked via password off of the computer. I guess it was because I wasn't helping out around the house or some shit like that. Mom, Nannie, and Rick hadn't been talking to me since before I graduated, so I wasn't sure what was going on at all.

I guess some highlights of the summer so far have included :
1. Working. That isn't really a highlight perse, but I have been doing a lot of it so it has to go in the list somewhere. Since it is probably what I have done the most of, it's number 1. I just gained full time hours and have started working the graveyard shift, which really isn't so bad. I get a lot more tips than on a normal shift and I get to just hang around.

2. Parties. Not so much anymore because of an unfortunate event, but I made it out to a few and had a good time when applicable. More notably, I would have to say Nathan's annual get together was pretty darn fun. Sucks that we don't get to hang out so much anymore, ( The whole crew ), so when there is something like that it always ends up good.

3. Movies/Mall time. I have gone to quite a few movies, one of which I went to with Nate, Shanna, Josh and Creature. Josh was here for a week or so before Nate's party, so we hung out a bunch, which brought back old memories. Creature and I chilled a bunch over the course of the summer.

4. Misc. This includes the random hangouts with people, going to Arby's for the first time, sleeping in late almost everyday, watching Whose Line? every night ( which isn't on tv anymore), making new friends and spending time with them, seeing old friends, going shopping and most importantly rehearsing for and performing Bang Bang, You're Dead! again at the Imperial Theatre with Theatre on the Edge's Boundry Breaking Youth Theatre. What an amazing feeling it was to get to do it again. We haven't had the cast party yet, but I know that will make the list, too.

I guess that about sums up what has gone down... not much.

Steam Machine.

What a lazy Sunday it has been.
I watched a movie, ate a lot of chocolate and made my cat mad. I guess it was spent in the best way possible.

I hope the first week of summer isn't as boring as today was. I should be having some mad hangouts with several people since I have 4 days off.


I have been listening to Daft Punk almost non-stop. Reminds me of Greg. He's amazing. I still regret ever breaking up with him all those years ago. I was young, I didn't know what love was, but now that I do.. I think I probably loved him. If there is anyone I want to make sure that I stay in touch with in the coming years, it would be him. He has helped me through more than any normal friend helps another friend through. He doesn't know how much I appreciate everything he has done for me. I need to find a way to tell him.

<3

Daft Punk - Around The World / Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger.

I have received a high school education.

So, I graduated last night. June 20 was the beginning of the rest of my life and the ending of a chapter I wish I could rewrite and edit several times over before calling it a finished product, but since I can't do that I guess I will just have to publish it anyway and hope that someone reads it someday. I know that I can't go back and change anything that I did, or didn't do, so I am going to sit around and ponder what I did and thing about the pros, cons, consequences and rewards I received.

I guess you could say it's over. I won't ever see half of the people that I spend my high school years with. On one side of the coin that is a huge relief. I can't even believe that I hung out with some of the people I did, or that I even called them friends. But like anything, there is another angle, and I know I will miss those friends that I had that were real friends. I suppose if they are just that, I will stay in touch with them, but upon Graduation everyone says, " Oh, we'll stay in touch. We'll hang out lots in the summer. I'll call you. " (We all know that never happens.) I guess we're all heading for bigger and better things. At least I hope that's what happens after high school.

Last night was 3 hours of torture, an hour of helplessness and 6 hours of all-night fun. The ceremony was long, tiring and hot. The reception that followed would have been wonderful had my family showed up to it. If anyone reading this knew what my family was like, they would understand. To any onlookers that would seem like a very mean and thoughtless thing to do, and it was.... but of course, like any situation it is the teenager that is at fault, so it is all my doing that created a bad night for myself. Safe grad ensued after the reception, and after a little bit of crying I got over it and had a great time. We went to see a screening of Ferris Bueller's Day Off, and then bowling. Amazing night.

Anyway, for now I am going to go make a card for my good friend Leighsal. She deserves a nice one. :)

Learn To Fly.

Hello - I figured while I was sitting around eating pizza I might as well post a new blog, in greater detail than those preceeding this post. Anyway - as mentioned, I graduate on Friday, which is really hard to grasp. Seems like, the time went by way too fast and I'm not ready to grow up yet. Prom is on Tuesday and after weeks of going back and forth on if I'd be going or not, I decided on yes and I found a date. My good friend Joe is being kind enough to take me :).

I have also decided that this summer will be like none before it. I don't care if I'm out all the time with friends, working, reading a book in the shade, or just taking a walk alone with my ipod - I just want to make it mean more to me. I have been reading a book called "Tuesdays With Morrie" and it is inspiring me to make the most out of ordinary things... Not material things, but nature, and just the joy of being here. Moreover, it's the summer before I head to University. It has to be good.

Ahh well, I have exhusted myself quickly.
Lovex - Anyone Anymore.

..

Well, I am officially done high-school. Next week is graduation and prom week, which means I'm going to be insanely busy with things.
I decided this will be a good summer. I'm going to do things ! haha.
For now - I'm going to the movies with Creature.

Music : Razzle Dazzle - Ignorance Is Bliss.

Graduating?!

Well, the last year of my high school life is quickly approacing its' end. Through all the years you are in school, you can't seem to wait until it's over, but then when the end is near, you wish it were just beginning again. There are some things I wish I could do over, some things I wish I never did and things I wish I had of. It's hard to imagine that I might never see some of the people I spent the best times of my life with.

All I have left is my exams and then I will be a graduate.
I still don't have a prom date.. I will probably just go alone, if I decide to even go. Things are crazy right now. Blah.

Foo Fighters - My Hero.

Good Gracious.

I always seem to slack when it comes to these things, and then I spend like an hour trying to throw everything I have done in the past month in one post. Well, I am busy right now, so that isn't what I'm going to do... Well, I might a little bit.

In the past while, all I have been doing is spending rediculous amounts of time with Andrew. That isn't like me. I don't know what's up. We're still only dating. I hate that term...Dating. I think that's only used by people with committment issues. Unfortunate as it is.

I got my prom dress yesterday. It is simple, and Marilyn Monroe esque. I paid $30 for it, so I will be getting my moneys worth.

Tonight there is a concert. All local bands, but going to be fun nonetheless. I will probably edit this when I get home tonight.

Music - Michou - St. Mary's Park

We're just.... A Minor threat!

This weekend was a busy one.
I experienced Pocky Friday night, which I think I neglected to mention. How I managed to do that, I don't know, but it made my life.
Saturday I had to work, but got sent home early and found out I was allowed to go to Keswick Ridge for the party going on up there. I was excited, to say the very least. I went up with Rick, we got very, very lost, but ended up getting there and had an amazing time. Then I came home this morning and went to work again.
I was kind of hoping that Andrew was home and not still city hopping around the province, and the next province. I miss him.

Anyway, right now I am watching American Hardcore, and am soon going to play some guitar hero, I think. :)

There She Goes Again...

Funny how much can really happen in a month and you never really realize it.
I have grown quite a bit in this last month and am pleased to say that I am, probably, happier than I have been in a long time. Things seem to be going relatively well on a lot of different aspects of my life.

I had been working very hard on a play, for Drama Festival, called Bang, Bang You're Dead. I had seen the movie a couple of years ago, based around the play, and immediately fell in love with the whole notion of it. It is out there for students to perform to get the point across about school violence and just how common it is. When I heard that one of the plays our school would be bringing to Drama Fest was that one, I was even more excited to be audtioning. I made the cut and was cast in that play, to my delight. We had a student director, directing for his first time, which made us all a little skeptical and as unfortunate it is to say, less than hopeful that the whole thing would pan out. In the end, with rehearsals every day basically and countless hours of running lines, hoping we'd at least be able to present something we'd be slightly proud of, we came out on top at Drama Fest. None of us were the least bit surprised. We all gained a lot of experience and respect for each other and of course, Andrew, our director. We became so close over that while and Drama Fest was amazing. We won 9 awards, not to mention Andrew won the Alvin Show award , for the student with the most professional potential. I am proud of us all. Drama Fest has always been one of my favourite times of the year, if not the favourite. I met a lot of amazing people from Hampton and Sussex this year, so I hope that those friendships continue on. The thing with an event like that is that we all have that common ground, we all know what it is like to step out on that stage for the first time, in front of people your age and being scared beyond belief. Also, we know that we can always trust that everyone around us will congratulate us and support us for at least doing our best out there, even if it isn't what everyone thinks is the best. It is such a great feeling. I can't wait to perform our play again next week :).

Aside from the unbelievable time at Drama Festival (and all the time spent on it) - I haven't been doing a whole lot. School is starting to crack down - two weeks of classes left and then we all gear up for exams, joy. I am starting to get really nervous about University life and what it's going to be like, I really wish I was staying in Saint John, it might be a lot easier to adjust to.

Andrew (not the same as the one mentioned earlier) and I have become very close. I had only known him as Stoopid and saw him around, but after hanging out with him for quite sometime I have grown to like him very much. He makes me feel like no one else has in a long time and I am always happy when I am around him, it's like he doesn't know how to do anything wrong. Not that guys ever do things wrong on purpose, but he doesn't say anything wrong or anything, it's kind of crazy. He ususally isn't one for relationships, I hear, but we are "dating" now and things seem to be heading in the direction of a full relationship. Kaitlin and I had a fairly monumental fight over this happening. She liked him and I liked him and this and that... Which brings us to where we are now and Kaitlin is no longer mad at me - we're all good. Makes me sad when we fight anyway, so I am very glad we worked things out. It was no one persons fault though, we both said things we didn't mean.

Movies seen lately : Iron Man, Diary of the Dead.
Iron Man was incredible. I didn't know if I would like it as much as I did, but man.. Very good. Robert Downey Jr. was the best possible man to play the part and he added the right amount of sarcasm and comedy to the character. I would recommend it 100 times over.
I am actually taking a break from watching Diary of the Dead right now, so far it is really well done. I believe it had a very low budget and the movie follows along the same style as Cloverfield, because it is filmed using a handheld camera at most times. It's a zombie flick, so if you are into that, I think I would recommend it.

Shows seen lately: Farewell to Freeway, Shotgun Rules, Cancer Bats, 3 Mile Scream and most recent - The Mahones, last night.
All of which were great. I do not think it is possible for a show goer like me to have a bad time at a show. The Mahones were fantastic, Irish Punk. I cannot stop listening to them and have been telling everyone I talk to to download them, go out to a show or just do anything to hear them. Great band!

Anyway, this is enough for now :).

No music, just movie.

As My Heart Runs Empty... Now I Realize....

Again, it's been awhile. Guess I have been too lazy to bother updating anything haha.

Since I last posted, I have been to New York City. We all had a blast. I cannot even begin to go into detail about just how amazing that city is. It isn't like anything you will ever see. There is always something to do, or look at. I don't think anyone would ever get bored in that city, even if you lived there because there is something new to be seen each day. We only spent a weekend there, wasn't long enough to see everything we would have liked, but amazing nonetheless.

I've been accepted to St. Thomas. Yay! I also got an entrance scholarship for $500, not too shabby. I am really nervous/anxious/excited... I know I am going to miss home, though. Even though I complain about it almost constantly, there is still always that one piece of you that belongs home. I'm nervous about not knowing people. I know some people that already go there, but they have their groups already and are in a different level than me, so I will have to meet all new people. I'm not very good with things like that.

My first article will be published in the Telegraph-Journal on Saturday, in the Escapade section. I'm nervous about that too, but it's been a good experience.

Music: Neverending White Lights - I Hope Your Heart Runs Empty

My Obituary

McCutcheon, Kristin Madelyn - The death of 17 year old Kristin Madelyn McCutcheon of Saint John, New Brunswick occurred on February 25th while she was visiting the home of folklore legend “The Loch Ness Monster” in Scotland. It was always one of her dreams to find out if Nessie was real. We now know all too well now, that Nessie is real and not a friendly creature. Kristin was the daughter of Crystal McCutcheon and Rolland Despres (who never approved of her thrill seeking adventures in Loch Ness), grand-daughter of Madelyn McCutcheon and niece of Richard McCutcheon. She was an only child and had always wished she had a brother or sister to boss around. Kristin worked as a baker and cashier at Tim Horton’s where her everyday customers and co-workers will miss her crazy antics and signature red bow. Before her employment with Tim Horton’s, she prepared hamburgers at Wendy’s and liked to eat grilled pickles on her breaks. She was a student at Saint Malachy’s Memorial High School and intended on graduating in June. Kristin was uncertain as to what career she wanted to pursue, but those around her knew she could do anything she put her mind to, except become a doctor. Besides her work searching for Nessie, Kristin is best known for her passionate attitude and love of all art forms. She was involved in school plays and musicals, her school newspaper and many music companies around the city of Saint John. She was known for her sense of humor and general shenanigans that made all around her laugh. Kristin was a fan of the Montreal Canadiens and got into a fight once with a girl who favoured Toronto, she was also a fan of Seinfeld, going to the movies and building snowmen. Resting at Brenan’s Select Community Funeral Home, 111 Paradise Row, Saint John on Wednesday, February 27th. Visitation will take place from 2 - 4 p.m. and 7 - 9 p.m. Kristin had a happy face tattooed on her left arm, signifying happiness, Saturday March 1st there will be a convention held at Outworld Tattoo, from 9 a.m. - 6 p,m, for anyone who wishes to get a free happy face tattoo in her memory. Remembrances can be made to the Save the Elephants Campaign, Our Earth is Burning Society, or The Human Fund.

I had to write this for an assignment at Co op. I must say it sure was an interesting assignment to do, and it is even more interesting to read.

Recently

Wow, there have been very long spaces between the posts I have been making. Sometimes I actually feel a bit guilty if I don't document every aspect of my life, I think that's probably one of the weirdest things about myself. Can't change it, though. Anyway... moving forward.

Past events/milestones:
- I don't know if I am accepted to University yet. :(
- I have a boyfriend. He lives in Fredericton. It's kind of weird saying I have a boyfriend, because I don't really know what I would even consider to be a relationship anymore, since I have had so many ups and downs recently, in that department. Nevertheless, I am happy and I hope things really work out.
- I tried out for Drama Fest, today. I believe that I did really well. I will find out next week, if I made it or not.
- I go to New York City for the Easter weekend. Departure in : 3 days. :)

Upcoming events:
- New York in 3 days.
- Fredericton to visit Mason, the weekend after this one. <3
- Midterms in a couple of weeks, means there is only one term left till I graduate !!!

Music: Evans Blue - Stop and Say You Love Me

No Country For Old Men

Running time 122 minutes
Written and directed by Joel and Ethan Coen
Starring Javier Bardem, Tommy Lee Jones, Josh Brolin
By Kristin McCutcheon

No Country For Old Men, adapted from Pulitzer Prize winning author Cormac McCarthy, tells the story of modest welder and hunter Llewellyn Moss's (Josh Brolin) unfortunate run-in with a trail of dead, drugs, two million dollars and a ruthless killer that stops at nothing to get what he wants. Written and directed by the Coen brothers, Joel and Ethan, this movie has the right amount of suspense, comedy and drama to make it an instant classic.

The movie begins with a backdrop of its setting, the 1980's in Texas, and the voice of an aging sheriff (Tommy Lee Jones) speaking about the continuous rise in crime and violence. Soon, everyman Llewllyn Moss stumbles upon the corpses of Mexicans appearing to have undergone a bad drug deal and finds the money that should have been in the hands of the second party. Moss is smart enough to know that someone, more specifically, assassin Anton Chigurh (Javier Bardem), will be searching for the loot. The movie follows Moss's run from motel to motel trying to escape the emotionless killer that hunts him. Sheriff Bell (Tommy Lee Jones) keeps on the trail of this cat and mouse hunt throughout the film.

Academy award winner for Best Actor in a Supporting Role, Javier Bardem, plays the intriguing and brutal antagonist, Anton Chigurh. The role of Chigurh needed to have the right comedic to barbaric ratio to be successful and a believable character; Bardem captured that in every sense. Josh Brolin portrays Llwellyn as a man that was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. The most starred actor, Tommy Lee Jones, has very powerful moments and monologues, as he is realizing more about his county and things much bigger than himself. Supporting roles from Woody Harrelson and Kelly Macdonald also add flair to the film, but in small doses.

From scene to scene, the film is always unpredictable. While you are sitting there thinking you know what is going to happen next, you are slightly surprised to see you are repeatedly wrong. In turn, this keeps the audience on the edge of their seats. Another aspect that adds to the suspense is the fact that there is very little music if any at all used. The sound was simple, yet eerie, being only the sounds the characters made through movement and speech.

A well deserving film of four wins out of eight Academy award nominations, winning Best Picture, Best Direction, Best Adapted Screenplay and Best Actor in a Supporting Role. Other nominations were for film editing, cinematography, sound editing and sound mixing. There is not one unnecessary gesture, word or action in the whole of this film. It will keep you enticed. You will leave astounded.

Oh Gawwwwwd!

No one really reads this, do they? Well, since I don't think so, I'm spilling my heart tonight.

I have a boyfriend, who's better as a friend and a heart that sleeps alone. Poetic? Maybe. True? Yes. I think I have found my other half, and sadly enough it isn't him. I may sound crazy and completely out of my tree, but I don't know.. maybe soul-mates do exist. His name is Mason. That's really all I need to say about him, other than I have never felt so connected to another person before. Ugh. :( I will be visiting him next weekend. Very excited.

In other news, I applied to St. Thomas University, in Fredericton. It will definitely be a huge change compared to live in Saint John, but I decided that it was probably the best choice and if I didn't just go for it, I don't think I ever would. I'm really lame like that.. and I put things off. Huge procrastinator.

New York trip is fast approaching. The march break has consisted of unimaginable amounts of work and way too little time spent on resting. I did see No Country For Old Men, which was amazing. I wrote a review for Co-Op, I'll post it after this one. Other than this information, I have no important news, really. Staying over at The Fillion Residence on Saturday, I do believe. Shall be fun.

Music: Hello Operator - Chasing Satellites.

Gimmie Gimmie Some Of That Kinda Movie

On today's agenda : Mall with Keith, then possibly the movies, but I don't think that it's going to happen tonight, neither of us are really up to a movie today. I need to grab some cross stitching stuff. Yeah, I know, I'm really 85 and need cross stitching to keep my fine motor skills in tact, but really, it's super fun ! Haha . I think it will be a good past time for me to do on the way to NYC in March. Wow, am I ever excited for that trip. I'm rooming with Sammie, Shelby and Emily. Should be a really fun time.

My mother hasn't spoken to me in about a week and a half now, really nice of her, huh?

We are in the middle of a snow day here in Saint John. One more until they start adding extra days on at the end of the year to make up for all the ones missed. That's seriously going to suck, they can't do that. I heard that one year they removed March Break, that caused a huge uproar so they used the alternative : adding days at the end.

Well, I guess we are all caught up on my life as I know it in this moment. Things are going fairly well. March Break is next week and I shall be working my tail off the whole time to pay for my spending cash in the big apple. My uncle said he wants to help me with some cash, I told him he didn't have to, but I could use some help. Since they cut back student hours at work, I haven't had a whole lot of flow coming in. I'm still keeping busy as much as I can, and out of the house. I'm so sick of being in here with people who don't speak to me. It's like a cave.

Anyway, mall time :)

Music: Ill Scarlett - Nothing Special (OH YEAH. I saw Protest The Hero and Ill Scarlett on the 18th. Amazing show! )

Long time no type

Wow, it's been awhile.
I have been extremely busy. Well, maybe not extremely, that's too intense of a word. Quite. I have been quite busy.

Events/highlights that have occured in the past while:
-Huge fight with my mother, resulting in a one week+ silent treatment. No talking as of yet. (Not that I'm complaining)
-Spent time with my grandmother. I still cannot believe that she has cancer. She seems way too alive to even be thinking about that.
- Valentines day was spent with Keith at the movies. We went to see Fool's Gold. Very good, I must say.
-Went to East Side Marios, the mall and movies with my friend Sasha. We saw 27 Dresses. I see a lot of movies.
-My co-op placement was announced. I got the position at the Telegraph-Journal. I'm really surprised, nonetheless, it has been really fun so far. I love the atmosphere there, so friendly ! :)

Have to go for now :)
Music: Trapt - Echo

Some regrets...

Well. I had my interview at Telegraph Journal today. It was pretty bad. I couldn't even answer the one question that I should be able to answer. I was a trainwreck. I may have a chance yet, since I need to send him a piece of work for tomorrow. I don't even know where else I would have an interest in going for my co - op. :(

Also, tonight was the Open House at STM. Amazing fun times, I was a pretty good tour guide, I think. I am really regretting not getting involved and being such a procrastinator. I can't stand that side of me! Ugh.

Music: Matthew Good Band - Anti-Pop.